In December, I sat down with a cup of Earl Grey Creme tea, curled up in the egg chair I affectionately refer to as “my nest,” and started journaling about what I wanted 2021 to look like for myself. The one idea that kept repeating in my mind was creativity. I’ve always been a creative person, and I constantly look for ways to improve my artistic skills. Yet year after year, I feel stagnant. I just don’t feel like I see the results I want to see. I know that part of this is a harsh inner critic, yet I also feel that there is a strand of truth to this feeling. So I thought hard about why I think I remain stagnant. And, while I’m not sure I have it completely figured out, I do think I’m on the right path now. And, to keep me on the right path, and to hopefully start to see those results, I have decided that my intention for 2021 is creative growth.
I’m not much for New Years resolutions. For so many people, including myself, those resolutions never amount to lasting change. To me, this is because goal setting for an entire year can be tricky. Of course, good goals must be specific, measurable, achievable, relevant, and time-bound. But I feel that a year long goal must also be flexible in order to have any amount of success. Last year, 2020, is the most exaggerated example of this. In January 2020, there were people that set goals such as, spend more time with family, get a promotion, draw every day, lose 100lbs, and so on. But then there was a worldwide pandemic. How can a new years resolution such as spending time with family or getting a promotion be accomplished in a year where we were actively encouraged to stay away from people not in our immediate households, or where the economy crashed and so many people lost their jobs? Perhaps a goal to draw every day gets interrupted because a person gets Covid and doesn’t even have the energy to get out of bed for a week? What happens then? Well, as with most new years resolutions, they get abandoned with plans to do better next year. And that repeats year after year.
The solution I’ve found for myself is instead of setting concrete goals at the beginning of the year, I set an intention to last the entire year. Setting an intention allows me to have a focus point to return to throughout the year. It can be a motivator for behavior, a factor in decision making, an inspiration for action, and a theme for setting smaller, more achievable goals. For example, last year my intention was “Courage.” For my birthday, right before the start of the pandemic, I decided I wanted to try indoor skydiving. Well once a date was set and a trip was planned, I started getting nervous and there was part of me that seriously wanted to back out. However, I reminded myself that my year-long intention was courage…and that it would be courageous to try this thing that seemed scary. So I did go indoor skydiving. And I found that I absolutely loved the experience and wanted to do it more. And while I didn’t get to go again due to the pandemic, I had still stuck with my intention in that instance and had an unforgettable experience. And there were many other instances in 2020 where my intention of courage was a motivation. In fact, I believe it was part of what got me through such a difficult year.
I have an idea of what I want my creative growth to look like this year. But the path to get there is still just beginning. Part of the plan is to start to really examine what I think has held me back of kept me stagnant up until this point. I’ve started asking myself questions such as, “What fears do I have regarding growing as an artist?” or “What is the story I tell myself about being an artist?” My hope is that I will discover that some of the answers to these questions are just silly nonsense in the form of negative self-talk, and therefore can be confronted rationally and then tossed aside. I expect that some of the other answers will result in a better idea of concrete actions I can take to jumpstart my creative growth…and I am really excited to see what comes of that. I would also like to see myself have a better flow from idea to creative process to finished piece. Some plans I’ve made to make progress here are to be more consistent about documenting ideas, and to be more intentional about which ideas I choose to invest in and make into an actual piece of art. I also want to get better at managing time for artistic creation, make a better workspace to create my art, and be more confident about my artistic style. I think, if I start making choices and actions to put these plans into motion, I will see the creative growth I’m wanting to see. Yet at the same time, my intention is flexible enough to adjust to any changes or challenges I may encounter throughout the year.
Ultimately, I want what many artists want. I want success. I want to make more money from my art. I want to be better known as an artist. But, if I simply set a goal of “make more money from my art this year.” I could easily be disappointed. Art is still not something that a lot of people are willing to spend money on while the economy is in such a poor state. Also, that kind of goal discounts all the other successes I may have as an artist throughout the year. Perhaps my creative growth results in more money…that would be awesome. But maybe it doesn’t result in more money but in does involve growing my skillset, learning new skills, gaining confidence, finding even greater joy in creating, better time management, a better creative process, or something else…then how could I say there was a failure in the goal I set just because I didn’t make more money? Art should not be just about the money. Art is something that needs passion, joy, and wonder. Really, anything worth being good at requires those things. And I don’t want to forget that or discount that.
So what does this mean for starting fresh after 2020?
Just because it is not January 2021, that doesn’t mean the pandemic is gone. It doesn’t mean the economy is better. It doesn’t mean that politicians are better. It doesn’t mean that climate is better. It doesn’t mean that the unemployment rate has dropped. All of those issues are still very real and pressing concerns. And none of it is anything I, as an individual, can control. The thing I can control is myself.
One of the things that 2020 reminded me of is that people are really resilient. Last year was so incredibly difficult. We all had to adjust to a lot of changes and setbacks. Many people experienced the loss of loved ones. Many people lost their jobs, or had to adjust to working from home. Inequality and racism came to the forefront, causing lots of people to experience discomfort while confronting their biases and considering their stance on the Black Lives Matter movement, while others fought for the respect, equality, and acceptance that they have deserved for so long. Yet through all of this, people kept moving forwards. People adjusted. People grew. People persevered. And this is because human beings are so incredibly resilient. We as a species are capable of facing so many challenges and continuing to come through to the other side. And what that means is that despite not much actually changing as we begin 2021, our mindsets can be different. We can find hope and inspiration and renewed resolve. I think the New Year has always been about finding those things so that a fresh start feels real. This year will probably continue to be really difficult. If the first 8 days haven’t proven that yet, I’m going to assume you just weren’t paying attention. But, there is still room for hope and optimism. Things will get better, as they always do.
If any of this has spoken to you, please, comment and let me know your thoughts. What do you think of setting intentions rather than goals? What were your New Years resolutions? Do you have an intention for the year you’d like to try out? How do you plan to make the best of this year despite the challenges we all still face? I’d like to know your thoughts. You matter to me.